HOW TO BE A LADY 101: “WHEN PISSED OFF… SMILE EVILLY.”
Setting: Pizza Volante in SM
Time: 8:30 PM
Date: 6th of February, year 2010
Mood: Frustrated. With murderous intentions.
WARNING: GORY IMAGINATION & UNLADY-LIKE ACTIONS ARE PRESENT. PARENTAL GUIDANCE IS ADVISED.
(15 minutes ago…)
Zab: “Miss, may I get a glass of water?”
Waitress: No response.
(10 minutes ago)
Zab: “Miss, may I get a glass of water?”
Waitress: Glances, then walks pass.
(5 minutes ago)
Zab: “Miss, may I get a glass of water?” (Smiling, but has a vein popping in the head)
Waitress: “Miss, sandali lang po. Wala po kasing baso eh.”
Zab (in the head): How is it possible that there is NO freakin’ glass available?!!
I am about to burst. If I am as wicked as a witch, I should have been screaming my head out towards that waitress and burying my fangs at her neck, sucking her blood out. But for your information, I AM LADY. Ladies don’t do that. And puh-lease, her blood in my system? A definite no-no.
So what is the current situation right now?
Zab: “Miss, water please.”
Waitress: Glances, then walks to the new customers and said, “Maám, welcome po sa Volante.”
Zab at Elmer, nagkatinginan. (I’m so gonna kill her. Are we invisible?)
Elmer: ”Ate, pwede na ba talagang humingi ng tubig since may mga baso na naman kami?”
Waitress: ”Sandali lang po.”
Finally, our request will be granted. We are not wishing for a free meal or something that would require an all-day service. We are just wishing for our glasses to be refilled. Is that very hard to fulfil?
Okay, must stop. Ranting mode over. So unlady-like. Anyway, our water has arrived. We took a sip only to find out that…
The water’s not even cold.
Silence. A very long period of silence.
(in our heads) Screw that waitress.
